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Offline Ridge RunnerTopic starter
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« on: March 31, 2011, 06:09:45 am »
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I Thought I'd start this topic because some how i always end up in the S@&%
And it's only the depth that varies, And the person that has me got thinking
Is our very own member ( 1860 Treasure ).

So here's Story number one.

In a small town called Nambour, QLD, Australia.
I was in a news agents and a woman walked in and asked for a roll of Durex  my eyes open wide and i dare not look round
and i thought bugger me she's a shy girl, they come on a roll, Struth, Are all sheillas this open, in the end i just had to look .
and Durex is a roll of sticky Tape or as it is called here selotape.
So i know how a person can get in to trouble with different meanings.

AU

PS<  Just wait a while coz I've got more stories to come

Posted on: March 30, 2011, 10:32:53 PM
Same town same place

Gettin up early on the farm was never a problem as the chores needed tending
Well on this particular day, I was listerning to the call of nature cor I needa @%&#
Anyway by smoko time ( Thats a coffee break for you folks above the planets waistband ) around 10:00 am.
Mother nature she was kinda screaming, So off to the ThunderBox I went ( that means the toilet ).
Now there I sat quite pleased with myself after doing the hoo chi min two step for 200yds and living to tell the tail,
I was searching for the toilet paper and as i looked down Eureka there was the little blighter, as i reached down i leaned
over just in time to see a long black tongue flicking in and out and then i saw the head  Shocked   Oh @%&# Now i'm in trouble,
So that convinced me to sit very still, Whilist i sit trying to work out how am i gonna get round this slight problem
I thought well theres no lock on the door if i give it a kick it will swing open, Tried that Bugger me legs too short, then to my
relief the wind blew the door open so i grabed the window sil and the door knob and launched myself straight out the door.
My feet never touched the floor til i landed outside the door anyway pulling up my strides and gettin over the shock i stuck
my  head back threw the door to see what this type of critter this was and as i leaned further in I saw it was a lizzard about 2ft
long curled up behind the pan, I don't know way these things keep happening to me, but theres one thing i know and that is,
If it was'nt for bad luck I'd have no luck at all Grin Grin Grin

AU


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« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 06:14:23 am by auminesweeper »
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Offline cache
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« Reply #1 on: March 31, 2011, 06:23:21 am »
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Like a gator in ones swimming pool?...Just last nite on the local news here there was a  story of a snake in what you call the thunderbox. Crawled though the pipes they said.Thats probably why my mother always told me to "close the lid when your done".

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« Last Edit: March 31, 2011, 06:27:05 am by cache »
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Offline Ridge RunnerTopic starter
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« Reply #2 on: March 31, 2011, 06:27:22 am »
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Cache so this must be more of a problem than i thought then

And if ya get bitten there i guess you'll find out who ya mates are Grin Grin Grin

Au

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« Reply #3 on: March 31, 2011, 05:51:46 pm »
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OH AU ur thunderbox story had me rolling  Grin  Grin  Grin !! Thanks for the Laughs,

Cache the only place's I have ever heard of where snakes or rats came up threw the toilet were big cities like Chicago and New York and LA and Dallas etc.

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« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2011, 06:53:56 pm »
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I was stationed in Florida living on base.  Typical Base houses, Run down duplexes.

Over to the east about 1/4 mile houses were $200, 000 and up type .  The cool part was in place of a Alley in the back yard they all had Canals with $700,000 boats docked behind each house.

I was just walking along in dream land thinking, wondering what it would be like to have this big butt boat and out of the canal comes this 6 maybe 7ft gator. 

He was on a mission.

He ran, not walked over to this 6ft chain link fence and was over it way faster then you would think possible.

He ran, NOT WALKED up to the house grabbed this little FE FE white Poodle.

He made it back over the fence and in the canal so fast by the time I realized what ta ell was going on , it was done.

I'm well trained in firearm use.

If I had a pistol in my hands I'm not sure I could have shot it .

It all happened so fast by the time you would have known what was going on, it was over.

The next time I went to a Zoo and saw the Gator exhibit, I just kept thinking to my self.

Them there Gators are only in that fence because they want ta be!  LOL!

This is a True B.S. Story.

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« Reply #5 on: March 31, 2011, 07:00:13 pm »
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Now you would be speechless after seeing that, imagine if it had came after you Shocked Shocked

AU

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« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2011, 07:09:08 pm »
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Quote:Posted by homefire
This is a True B.S. Story.


Is this the same B S  I think u are referring too ? ? ?   Grin  Grin  Grin

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« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2011, 07:18:20 pm »
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Yep!  B.S.  and simominus with Barbra Streisand.  LOL!

I had a feeling that gator had been munching poodles for a while. Huh?

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« Reply #8 on: March 31, 2011, 07:23:55 pm »
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LOL   OK   Grin  Cheesy  Grin Grin  Cheesy  Grin Grin  Cheesy  Grin

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« Reply #9 on: March 31, 2011, 07:24:36 pm »
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Eeeek
Yeah big reptiles have turned my Mr. Pucker into a pair of bolt cutters a few times. I've actually hit gators under the surface while kayaking the Sabine and Neches rivers in Texas. They thrash once hit and that tail smacks your boat. Then a few feet later you gotta jump out in the water with it to pull your boat thru a logjam. I like gators... but I sure hate sharing close quarters with em.

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